You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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