So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
