We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
