Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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