I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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