Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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