Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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