I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Randomize
