just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
