it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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