She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
