last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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