My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
