I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
