remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
