i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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