Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
