I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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