you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
