Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
