I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize