Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
should my penis look like a turkey
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
