Where did you get a picture of my penis
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
