Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
