have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
