I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
its liver damage thursday
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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