i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
