your thong is hanging out like whoa
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
