I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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