so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
