I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
