Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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