I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
