I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
well you can't waste a boner
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
