i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
