a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
