I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Randomize
