im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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