she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Randomize
