Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
