If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
