Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Dick very happy bro
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
