Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Dick very happy bro
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