we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just gift wrapped bread.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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