Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Shame - the story of my life.
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