I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
