why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
