ya dads aren't the best wingmen
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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