am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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