So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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