There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
this just has baby written all over it
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
