my phone needs a breathalizer
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
