What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Dick very happy bro
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize