Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
