i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
