Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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