...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He shit in the fireplace
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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