Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
