I hate your face
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
