my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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