i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Randomize
