The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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