No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
