the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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