I never want to see another naked old woman again.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
