I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
