But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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