Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
