I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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