Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
