i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
