my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
