What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
